Tuesday, April 08, 2014

We only live once

As far as I know, we only live once. That means that we should try to live our live to the fullest and try to enjoy the moments with our family and friends, because Mister Time is ticking mercilessly and Time goes by, slowly, yes, but it goes by. Every day is a day closer to your death, to say it rudely. Every day is one day that has passed and that will never happen again. 


Take this sad story. A friend of mine who lives with her husband and two children in Belgium plans a trip to the United States to visit her dad and the rest of her family. It's been four years that they've seen each other in real life. At their arrival, her dad isn't feeling too well. They recommend him to go and see a doctor, but he refuses. A couple of hours later, he dies. They only had time to say goodbye to him, to give him a hug and that's it. His life is over, only 58 years old, and he leaves this friend of mine with an enormous sadness and a lot of grief. What had to become the trip of her life, became a true nightmare. I truly feel her grief, and she and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

R.I.P. Patrick Bruneel
What I'm actually talking about is this: I want to change my life radically, and in fact, I've alread begun doing that. I graduated a couple of months ago, and these times are hard times to find a job, but besides finding a job, I should also try to do what I really like. Also, I should try to accomplish some things I've always wanted to do. Take this: I've always wanted to be a karateka. When I was about seven years old, I wanted to take up karate lessons, because in our small town, we had the following sporting facilities: football, karate and gymnastics/trampolining. I wanted to take up karate, but my mom said that was for boys, so I was doomed to take up gymnastics and, later on, trampolining. I wasn't that bad, even got one golden and one silver medal and some bronze, but I got injured badly once, and less badly a couple of other times, and since then, I didn't enjoy it that much anymore, as you can probably imagine. Injuries from trampolining made me scared to do it again, but I was somehow pushed by my parents to continue. So I did, although I didn't like it anymore. It actually is quite a dangerous sport. Guess what I did last week?! Right, I took up karate. I already got my gi (suit) and obi (belt, white, as I'm a beginner). 


I'm so proud I took this decision on my own. I'd been looking on the Internet a couple of times earlier, but when I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, I started looking again. I realised I had to do something about this enormous wish I'd been carrying with me almost my entire life. I found a karate club, women only. It's called Daidokan and it's in Leiden. I knew this was what I wanted. They don't only practise karate, but also Arnis, martial arts from the Philippines. I went to the introductory course last Wednesday, together with a friend of mine and we both knew: this is what we've wanted to do for such a long time. We immediately decided that we were going to continue the lessons.


Another thing I'd wanted to do is something I did on Sunday, March 30th. Oh well, you'll probably laugh, but I went to a concert of my all time favourites: the one and only Backstreet Boys. No, they haven't split, they're still together and even released their new album in the summer of 2013. They've been touring through Europe and had two sold out concerts in the Netherlands, can you imagine? So I went with two friends of mine and it was awesome! I had the time of my life! I made some great pictures and short movies from the show. I even bought a T-shirt! No, I didn't feel like a teenager, because they've become grown-ups, and so have their fans. It's different in comparison with 16 years ago, when I saw them for the first - and until then, also the last - time. It was fun, especially because I also met a new friend over there, a Flemish girl, and I invited her to spend the night at my place instead at some expensive hotel in Amsterdam. It's good to know that you can still trust complete strangers in your house, even in these uncertain times... Okay, let me give you an impression of the BSB concert (sorry for the haters among you ;): 






So, I've decided that from now on, I'm going to do things that I really want to do. One of those things is a pretty insane idea. I want to be a volunteer at the Olympics of 2016 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Actually, it was an idea from one of my nurses who came to visit me at home during the first six weeks after my comeback from the psychiatric hospital. She's such a nice nurse, but she has the craziest ideas. However, though it did sound crazy in the beginning, right now it doesn't sound that crazy anymore. I'm going to apply in August and see if I can survive all the tests and interviews. Yes, it means I'll have to go to Rio a few times on my own account, but hell, why not? 


Also, I started voluntary work this week. It's something I've wanted to do for such a long time, but I never had time to do it because of my studies. Right now I teach two illiterate women how to read and write. It gives me the satisfaction I've been looking for for such a large amount of time. I know there will be people who will belittle my work as a volunteer and who will say things like: "Oh, it's only voluntary work, she'll never be able to find a real job", but I know what I'm doing. While I'm still living in a student's house, I can afford it. However, I'm longing to have a place of my own, and I do believe that God is going to provide, only when He thinks the time is right. 


So people, today's lesson is a simple one: you only live once. Try to make the best of it. I know some of you - including me - have gone through rough times in their lives. I know you can't forget about what happened to you if you've been harassed or abused in one way or another. I know you can't forgive the people who have done that to you. Still, the time will come when God will take away your pain. I know it's not easy, and I'm still struggling with it myself. My book - which is nearly finished, just some corrections and the illustrations which have to be added - was a proper means of coping with the separations. However, it wasn't conclusive, it didn't solve the problem entirely. I still have nightmares in which I'm being followed because they want to lock me up. So if you are experiencing the same or something similar, leave a message, and I'll pray for you. You never know, it won't harm you, that's for sure. If you want me to pray for you because you've been hurt by other people, just write a comment. You can put an anonymous comment, or you can add your name. It doesn't matter. I will pray for you. 

 

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